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Cauliflower gets a pizza the crappy action!

5 Oct

You know I love jumping on a bandwagon, I feel left out if I’m not giving the latest thing a go. And so this week I was eager to trial the new cauliflower pizza that everyone is so keen to talk about. This is a gluten free, carb less, low calorie version of the classic pizza just using cauliflower as the base – no really it’s not a joke, if you haven’t heard of it then where have you been? (Probably enjoying real pizzas from Dominos?)

Anyway my friend at work Kate had made one with much success and I enjoyed a cold slice of it myself in the office. If mine could taste half as good as hers then I could be onto a winner. And maybe even save myself a few calories and some wheaty bloating whilst still getting to enjoy pizza goodness.

You use cauliflower rice (yes this is also a thing) which is just washed florets whizzed up into crumbs. OR you can buy ready made pots of it in Tesco…. don’t judge me I don’t own a food processor (and probably with good reason). You heat this ‘rice’ up, squeeze out the moisture (which takes forever and really burns your hand if you use kitchen roll) and bind it with eggs and some cheese and seasoning. This makes up some kind of dough mixture that you can spread out into your pizza base:

PIZZA

Simply put your ‘pizza dough’ onto a baking sheet and bake in the oven until crispy. Here is mine going in and I’m feeling reasonably confident at this point. And I still was when I pulled it out because it looked round and golden and edible. Could I have made my first pizza base? With cauliflower?

I eagerly went to lift it from the paper so I could cool and spread my toppings over it – I had even made my own tomato sauce (don’t be impressed – tinned toms with mixed herbs).
BUT I hadn’t counted on this happening:

Piz3

The base had stuck to the baking paper! I mean how does that even happen? Doesn’t this paper have one job to do? Apparently you are meant to grease the paper first? But how do you know how to do that? Where do they even teach you to do that? Did I miss that day at life school?

I was appalled but desperate not to waste all I had already worked so hard for. so I tried to scrape what I could from the traitorous paper and this was my base.

I didn’t have high hopes for my pizza after this. Look how anaemic it looked. I baked it for a bit longer and ended up with this:

Piz4

That is not a pizza base by anyone’s standards. CAULIFLOWER CAN GO TO HELL! Or at least back into some cheese sauce where it belongs.

Still… I’m nothing if not tenacious (and I hate waste) so I spread my homemade tomato sauce over it followed by some grated onion and carrot (as I said I hate waste) followed by a whack load of cheese because that could only help right?

Of course the pizza base was so depleted by this point the overflowing toppings (made for a far larger and more robust base) remained raw whilst the bottom turned into a vegetable crisp.

I GIVE YOU MY CAULIFLOWER PIZZA:
piz5

I could have cried. It actually tasted of very little indeed, cardboard maybe? With some raw onion. Not sure. Suffice to say I won’t be trying this again and would much rather get that number for Dominos off you. Cheers.

Liked that? Did you read about the time I made spaghetti with courgettes? Courgetti? I know right. That was crap too! Maybe these healthy alternatives are not for me. Sigh…

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Friends Provide The Spice of Life

12 Feb

I have some very lovely friends who often help me out with kitchen tips and ideas.

Creative cook Claire made me up a beautiful parcel of exciting foodie items to help me out recently and I’ve enjoyed trying out various things such as pomegranate molasses, vanilla sticks and harissa. As a big fan of flavours from around the world she also packed in two lovely new spice packs I had no idea even existed! Sumac (or Somaq) and Za’atar:

photo 1Claire gave me some ideas of what to do with them and because I love North African and Middle Eastern food plumped for a chicken and chickpea tagine. (Normally I would buy a paste or a packet marked with the words TAGINE or CURRY or SHEPHERDS PIE so there could be no mistake as to what I was attempting).

I hoped my new flavoursome additions would raise the basic taste of that lovely bird into something all together meatier. And indeed it did! I happily threw my spices around with wild abandon – you know me – and ended up with this gorgeous looking dish:

photo 2The Sumac added the citrusy tang of lemons and the romantic sounding Za’atar provided the spicy, warm depths.

See – It’s not all doom and gloom in my house when it comes to cooking. Sometimes I can spice things up a bit (with a little help of course). Thanks Claire!

A Little Pasta Philanthropy

5 Jun

There are some good people in the world, people who take note of the plight of others and act upon it.
People who read my blog and think they might be able to help me out – or even help my son out and save him from badly presented and probably unhealthy dinners!

Look, I wasn’t the one who nearly served my boy up raw turkey rasher sandwiches because I thought they were ham ok?
It was my husband (true story).

little2 But anyway… those kind folk at Little Dish felt that I could maybe do with some help and sent me this rather nice hamper so that we could try out their new fresh filled pasta and sauce range.

I couldn’t really go wrong as the pasta is added to boiling water and the sauce (which is full of hidden vegetables but actually tastes just like lovely tomatoes) is warmed up on the hob.
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One Year On… A Poem!

21 Aug

So Alice Can’t Cook is one year old.
It’s the first birthday of my blog and if I may be so bold?
I shall celebrate with a rhyme or three…
Remembering the best and worst of my cookery

So I’ve served raw eggs to an unborn baby
Made a risotto so solid it could have plastered a wall, maybe
My roasted vegetables just won’t roast
But now and again I can have a bit of a boast

My self-imposed Veg Box Challenge was really trying
The hideous shrunken-head celeriac had me crying
I created some fruit compote that ended up in the sink
And a toxic hummous that kicked up a stink

Jamie Oliver’s Fritters won the vote but still got burnt
I’ve been a student but still haven’t learnt
There has been SO much trouble with eggs and rice
But thankfully I have a failsafe dish that usually turns out quite nice

Toad in the Hole nearly burnt the kitchen down
And even an easy kids recipe made me frown
A slimy festive turkey had me skidding across the floor
But my Christmas kit cakes had them crying out for more

Just don’t talk to me about curry!
I either make it like soup or a nasty slurry
My pretend birthday cakes reveal me to be a bad mother
But this years castle creation has made me think not to bother!

I’ve made my dog sick and my son scream
But weirdly my really difficult salmon dish turned into a dream
In the past year I’ve laughed and I’ve cried
I’ve served crap food but still no one has died.
Thanks for reading this year, for all your helpful comments and the laughs!
Alice Can’t Cook (still)…
But She’s Getting Better x

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