Christmas is over, and yes I did buy some mince pies, even though I swore I wouldn’t. And I ate some even though I don’t like them. Thinking about it I do this a lot, sabotage myself but dress it up as treating myself.
Every new year I laugh and declare that I am going to ‘give up giving anything up’ and continue to do whatever I liked and wanted. Which included eating, drinking, not exercising and generally not giving a shit. (although I did manage to ditch a 30-a-day fag habit about 7 years ago for which I still feel I deserve a daily medal).
But in my pursuit of fun, hedonism, relaxation, treats, freedom, not missing out on anything (and trying not to be sanctimonious about what I ate or did) I find that I am not really enjoying myself anymore. As I get older whole food groups have stopped agreeing with me, it’s hard to get out of bed without my joints and muscles hurting, I never sleep a full night through and my colds and hangovers are becoming events rather than niggles. (I sound attractive right?)
And so maybe instead of insisting on opening a second bottle of wine when I’ve clearly had enough, or just buying grab bags of crisps for the car on the way home because the supermarket was a bit of a bugger I should maybe look into this ‘moderation’ thing and create new levels of what’s acceptable for me now. What will help me not feel bloated, sleep better, not wake up feeling dreadful? They are clearly different from what they were when I was 20.
So no I am still not going to give anything up, but I am giving up giving up giving up.
And so here are my 2014 resolutions in full... (the list doesn’t include trying not to shout at my son or dog, read more bedtime stories, wash my make-up brushes, have more patience etc because these are just daily guilt trips I could write a whole other blog about)
1. Don’t waste time on books I don’t want to read. Once I start a book I always have to finish it, even if I realise half way through that I hate it, I always press on despite dreading opening the pages. This is a waste of time when I could be reading books that I will love. There are so many out there.
2. Keep to the evening skincare routine. It’s not hard to rub a couple of creams in before you go to bed and when I don’t it doesn’t take long for my skin to start resembling a parched river bed.
3. Don’t overeat, especially when already full and bloated, and never just because I’m bored or something is in the cupboard.
4. Go at least three nights a week without booze instead of just the current two – hopefully drinking will become enjoyable again instead of guilt-inducing and humdrum. Oh and maybe experiment with other drinks instead of just white wine which is starting to give me a headache if I’m honest.
5. Try not to just sit on the sofa scrolling through Twitter when bored, I need to pull myself out of the time sink sometimes to do something physical and worthwhile.
6. Learn to cook. Ha ha, who I am kidding?
Happy new year to you all, and if you have any resolutions to share I would love to hear about them.