Minecraft Pizza! An education and an abomination.

30 Jan

Son and I got a kids cookery book for Christmas. I tried to hide it, but was reminded of it recently when my son suggested we cook more together. I held his little face in my hands not wanting to let him down, not wanting to remind him of our previous disasters. Hope always springs eternal in the young… so with a heavy heart I got the book out and said we could try to make anything he liked in it.

Happily he chose creative pizzas, I was relieved  because all that means is making shapes out of food on ready made bases. Phew, baking bullet dodged.

Sadly it wasn’t totally without trauma.

First up the Clockface Pizza – telling the time with food – what could be more educational? These pictures need no explanation but just imagine two happy human faces putting this little beauty together:


 Son happily ate all four quarters telling the time as he did so. Look, it even looks a bit like the picture in the book!
Pizz3Fired up with success and enthusiasm for this creative pizza making lark I then boldly told my son we could try any design he liked. To hell with the constraints of the book what would HE like to see on a pizza. The answer was Steve from Minecraft. What? Steve, you know from Minecraft? Right find me a picture. He did and so not without some trepidation we got stuck in…

For the uninitiated Minecraft is made up solely of squares and blocks, rather at odds with the roundness of pizza and its toppings.  I knew our happy pizza making days were at an end – before they had even really begun…

This is what Steve from Minecraft looks like:
mine-craft-steve-headsteve-head---minecraft-mask---myteespot---your-t-shirt-store-b2e0cutdAnd this is what he looks like on a pizza:


Son was so distraught at the abomination, the desecration of the venerated Steve that he refused to eat it and went off to play Minecraft instead. He asked me not to write about the experience and hasn’t asked to cook with me again.
He has a point. But I challenge any mother to make Steve out of pizza and not scare people?

It’s the eyes right? They’re watching you, little pizza eyes… don’t have nightmares ok?



4 Responses to “Minecraft Pizza! An education and an abomination.”

  1. Jenny Eatwell 30/01/2014 at 11:36 am #

    *giggle* Now if you’d have created a “Steve” who wasn’t “Steve” as such, I reckon you’d be well pleased with your rendition of an impressionist pizza portrait. 🙂 I think the problem was trying to squash round pepperoni into a square pixellated hole. LOL Well done for trying, though! Lots of Mums would have said “no way, not possible, let’s go with ham & pineapple instead”. 😀

  2. Juliette Wills 30/01/2014 at 11:49 am #

    I really am completely speechless.

  3. dw 30/01/2014 at 4:13 pm #

    I think it’s rather good. But clearly a more pixellated approach is necessary.

  4. Alice Can't Cook 04/02/2014 at 1:57 pm #

    Thanks guys – admittedly a more pixellated approach is needed however I just don’t want to spend time cutting round bits of food into squares as much as I love my boy – won’t be long before Minecraft bring out a food range anyway 🙂

Can you help Alice?

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