A Right Bloody Meze

3 Dec

I really wish JML would stop emailing me and sending me catalogues. I’m always tempted by their strangely-named labour saving devices and odd beauty equipment (I have a portable Steam Shark lurking under the bed if anyone needs one?).

Anyway, I recently succumbed to yet another tempting offer to buy the Magic Bullet Blender (I know) because it promised it could complete pretty much any food processing job in under ten seconds while taking up less space than a coffee cup. Sold to the lady with no more room under her bed.

Regular readers will know I love a theme night – here is Caribbean Night – and with my tiny new blender promising it could create ‘Seven Second Salsa’ and ‘Before You Know It Bean Dip’ of course it was time for Greek Night. Husband argued that you could buy hummus so easily in the shops now and in loads of different flavours what was the point of making your own? And reminded me of the last time I made such a dip.

But I knew that this would be a super spread, I love a Meze and what could be better than learning to make your own.

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Surely I’d be stuffing my own vine leaves before long?

I settled on the Salsa (which did seem quite easy) and an authentic beetroot dip. The beetroot dip required me to finely grate a beetroot – using the side of the grater you never use, and for good reason! It grates your fingers too. Good job beetroot juice is red because it contained a LOT of my blood:
No, no don’t be alarmed I think that is mostly beetroot juice on my hands there. But what I do want you to notice is the amount of grated stuff you get from one beetroot – a bloody teaspoon full. Bloody indeed! I hoped it would be enough as I really didn’t want to shave anymore of my skin into the mix. And look at the state of that dangerous grater?

The rest of the recipe needed toasted sesame seeds, I fashioned them into a smiley face for this picture, which meant they were in the pan for far too long and toasted too much (burnt) But they look sweet don’t they?
The miniscule amount of beetroot, the burnt seeds and some other things went into the little blender and it did indeed whip it up into something smooth. But goodness knows how it would taste. Bloody?

Next up the salsa, here are my lovely looking fresh ingredients about to go in:
And here they are coming out again seven seconds later:
What the HELL is this watery, scummy mess? Where is my chunky salsa? This looks like something they suck out during liposuction. Not quite sure what to do with it I strained it through the colander to get rid of the liquid. So it ended up like this:
More like a vegetable paté. If such a thing exists? I stirred it up and served it up anyway.
Adding in some shop bought hummus (I didn’t have the heart to make my own) some falafel and the like here is my Greek Night:
Sadly the salsa didn’t taste of much, most of the flavour had probably been whizzed then strained out of it, the liquid however would have made a fantastic cold soup if I’d have kept it.
The dip tasted of nothing, not beetroot, not sesame seeds, nothing, not even blood.
The shop bought stuff however was fine.

Still my little blender coped admirably, and it doesn’t take up too much room in the cupboard where it has been ever since…

(I’ve asked for a JML Ped-Egg and a pair of Shower Shoes for Christmas, and I wonder if they do Bloodless Graters?)


3 Responses to “A Right Bloody Meze”

  1. Dan Backler 03/12/2012 at 7:05 pm #

    I loves me a bit of Salsa! Needs so little blending; tinned toms, onion, jalapeños, coriander, lemon juice, salt, maybe a spot of Tabasco. The chunkier the better….yum. Might come & get that Steam Shark off you, they look genius. x

  2. Jenny Eatwell 04/12/2012 at 10:44 am #

    You know, those ingredients for your salsa looked pretty darned salsa-like before they went into the blender! Just cut them a little smaller and they’d be perfect – and with much less washing up! 🙂 In my ‘umble opinion, you’d have done well to have put the beetroot into the blender with the sesame seeds and let the blender do the “grating”. Looking at the “salsa”, I reckon it would have worked, too. 🙂


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