One Year On… A Poem!

21 Aug

So Alice Can’t Cook is one year old.
It’s the first birthday of my blog and if I may be so bold?
I shall celebrate with a rhyme or three…
Remembering the best and worst of my cookery

So I’ve served raw eggs to an unborn baby
Made a risotto so solid it could have plastered a wall, maybe
My roasted vegetables just won’t roast
But now and again I can have a bit of a boast

My self-imposed Veg Box Challenge was really trying
The hideous shrunken-head celeriac had me crying
I created some fruit compote that ended up in the sink
And a toxic hummous that kicked up a stink

Jamie Oliver’s Fritters won the vote but still got burnt
I’ve been a student but still haven’t learnt
There has been SO much trouble with eggs and rice
But thankfully I have a failsafe dish that usually turns out quite nice

Toad in the Hole nearly burnt the kitchen down
And even an easy kids recipe made me frown
A slimy festive turkey had me skidding across the floor
But my Christmas kit cakes had them crying out for more

Just don’t talk to me about curry!
I either make it like soup or a nasty slurry
My pretend birthday cakes reveal me to be a bad mother
But this years castle creation has made me think not to bother!

I’ve made my dog sick and my son scream
But weirdly my really difficult salmon dish turned into a dream
In the past year I’ve laughed and I’ve cried
I’ve served crap food but still no one has died.
Thanks for reading this year, for all your helpful comments and the laughs!
Alice Can’t Cook (still)…
But She’s Getting Better x


12 Responses to “One Year On… A Poem!”

  1. Bill (bass) 21/08/2012 at 11:04 am #

    Happy Birthday and for your 40th too. Are you go to show us how you baked the birthday cake?
    Like the book tho I haven’t got very far.

    • Alice Can't Cook 26/08/2012 at 10:32 am #

      Hello Bill! How are you? Thanks for your comment. I didn’t bake a birthday cake for my 40th – I drank champagne and felt I had done enough… And thanks for buying the book, it really is only for dog lovers! x

  2. Carol Anne @ Rock Salt 22/08/2012 at 11:14 am #

    Can’t express how much I love this – what a cool idea, and beautifully executed 😀

    • Alice Can't Cook 26/08/2012 at 10:33 am #

      Ha ha thanks Carol Anne! It took me hours! x

  3. All That I'm Eating 23/08/2012 at 10:41 am #

    I love this poem. Here’s to another year.

    • Alice Can't Cook 26/08/2012 at 10:33 am #

      Hi Caroline, thanks for reading it! xxx

  4. Avril 31/08/2012 at 8:39 am #

    AliceCantCook thinks she cooks real bad
    But I don’t think that she should be sad
    It brings a tear and laugh to us
    And every post is worth all the fuss
    Her Foodie parcel proves her wrong
    Because her cakes were ding dong dong

    Thank you again for your foodie parcel. I didn’t get one this month :-((!
    Great Poem. Keep cooking ;-)))) Avril

    • Alice Can't Cook 31/08/2012 at 5:21 pm #

      Ha ha, thanks Avril, you’re a poet too 🙂
      Sadly I didn’t get a parcel this month either… My pen pal has been ill so hopefully it will arrive soon.
      Maybe you’ll get me in the future!!!!
      Have a lovely weekend, keep on cooking xx

      • conkertree 13/09/2012 at 1:46 pm #

        Hi Alice, not as good a poet as you.
        Sorry you didn’t get a parcel this month either. I hope you get it soon.
        I’m not doing Foodie Penpals for two months as we are really busy and Jonathan’s on holiday.
        Hope you are well Avril 🙂

  5. Emma 14/10/2012 at 9:22 pm #

    Such a brilliant poem Alice, congrats on reaching 1 year!

    • Alice Can't Cook 15/10/2012 at 11:50 am #

      Thanks a lot Emma! And thanks for reading x


  1. Best of the Foodie Blogs: Ten at Ten (33) | Foodies 100 - 22/08/2012

    […] Can’t Cook is one year old. To mark the occasion she has written this brilliant poem and tells us that she still can’t cook… but she’s getting better at […]

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