Not sure what happened here.
I was merrily frying up some sausages for a birthday breakfast for myself as I have just hit the big 4-0! (don’t judge me I used a no-calorie cooking spray and low-fat sausages).
But I burnt them.
But I didn’t just burn them – they managed to stay raw on the inside at the same time. Clever dogs.
I decided to split them and squash them into the pan, to make sausage patties (well it works in McDonalds’ breakfast buns right?) so they cooked inside but didn’t burn any more.
Bigger surface area meant they managed to pick up what little fat there was in the pan making them all greasy, and they still managed to stay slightly chilly no matter how long I squished them for.
The kitchen filled up with black smoke, I gave them to the dog.
Had a yogurt.
Happy Birthday to me!